The bucket list

I've come to realize that having a bucket list is one of those things in life we all have stashed somewhere in the corner of our brain.  Its only until we are faced with our own mortality do we drag it out and see what is inside of it. 

This brings to my memory a song frequently played on KOTZ Radio 720 am on your radio dial..... "There is a hole in this here bucket dear Liza, dear Liza...."  Not only does the song make me laugh but in reality my bucket list has a hole in it too and I am OK with that.  I just hope it's the things I check off that fall out...

My bucket list is small and subject to modifications perhaps on a daily or periodic basis.  This is what I have so far... and I am open to suggestions.

Bucket List

1. Dye my hair blue (check)
2. Snazzy Mohawk (depending on chemo - this may someday be checked off)
3. Gotta have a grand baby (check, check)
4. Wanna see one of my kids get married (the date is set, the love birds are set to tie the knot in NOV & DEC)
5. Clean out my mom's sewing room (wouldn't that freak her out)
6. Vacation with my kids someplace warm.... (set for NOV)
7. Make a white skin parkie with my niece Brianna
8. See my grandson walk and my Bailey Bug dance
9. Ladies night out on the town
10. Go camping with my husband down in the Kenai area
11. Go to a country music concert
12. I'd like to see Helvi buy a bright trendy purse and matching shoes and wear them (check)
13. I want a lady bug tattoo with a forget-me-not flower on my ankle (fake tattoo's are OK too) (I changed my mind)

Hot tea with a cookie

There have been times when a good cup of coffee and an Oreo would set the day on the right track.  These days I have lost the desire for coffee but thank God cookies are a wonderful treat any day of the week.

I think it's the little things like this that help me appreciate where I am at in life.  Yesterday I had to stop to count my blessings.  My reward for doing so was a gratefulness so profound there was nothing, not even cancer that could shake my sense of peace.  Its ok that I have cancer, its ok that its the worst and toughest battle I've faced, its ok because I am supported by the love and kindness of family and friends everywhere.  But don't get me wrong, CANCER SUCKS... but so does dropping your ice cream cone on the floor, it sucks but it doesn't have to ruin your day.

Riding in my car... (truck)

How is it that folks driving on the busy streets of Anchorage think they are invisible.  Now really, is Northern Lights BLVD really the place on earth you would choose to  PLUCK YOUR EYEBROWS, PUT ON NAIL POLISH or PICK YOUR NOSE.  Apparently in the confines of your car you may feel safe to do so, but really... there is a world of people around you looking in... REALLY

Skipping chemo

Today I was running a fever and my blood test show I was low in a couple areas. But REALITY CHECK... I can skip a round of chemo... It's like having a snow day or winning a great hand in poker.... I am thankful!

Now on to the real world... I want to dye my hair blue... Even it it means later that I have to shave it off.. Here is another reality check moment. Dying my hair blue makes no sense! As a 45 year old, it may even look stupid.. But if you know me then know this - I'm ok with all that. Life is short, and I should have done this 20 years ago..

When the weather hits below -0-

As a child growing up in Alaska playing outside was a daily activity.   Dressing warm was just common sense.  As an adult with cancer, we are talking about a whole new ball game...  My chemo treatments leave me with skin that tingles with the first sign of cold air.  My throat tightens slightly and makes me cough, which makes throwing up a slight possibility.  My toes and hands are going numb and the cold just adds to my discomfort.  But enough whining, I am Eskimo I should be able to handle the cold or maybe not.

At the first sign of temps dropping below zero, why is it I freeze?  Literally freeze, like hibernation mode is the only escape route.  Curling up with a warm blankie (yes I said blankie), wool socks and slippers within easy access is a good thing.   Fleece is another option to consider, with layers upon layers of clothing that doesn't match is a unattractive yet "oh so desirable".

Venturing outside is an event to avoid when ever possible.  The reality check is this.... who wants to freeze anyway?  Is this a sign of weakness?  I think not.  To venture outside is for those hardy souls who want to experience the real Alaska.  Growing up here leaves me to think.... "been there, done that... no need to do it again..." I am Eskimo but in reality staying toasty warm has its perks too.