Let the sun shine in...

Years ago, I couldn't wait to become an Aana... and now I am one.   What I've learned is I'm still me, only older. 

I really wish my grandparents were around longer.  Having lost my grandparents over the years, I think it would have been really awesome to have spent more time with them growing up.  I'm thankful my kids got to know my Aana but unfortunately they didn't get to spend time with my Grandpa or Tata.  And I think they were too young to get to know my Grandma before she passed.  Sometimes, I just wonder what I may have missed.

But here is a side note on spoiling my grand babies.  I hope my grand kids have tons of books or games or toys to play with and less Wii or Xbox time.  We will definitely make time to go out for ice cream and have plenty of time to watch cartoons on lazy days.  They don't need designer clothes or expensive gadgets unless we find them at a garage sale or thrift store at a fantastic price.  Regardless of what they have or don't have, they will be hugged tight, smothered with kisses and prayed for often.  I hope they grow up knowing they are spoiled by love rather than on materialistic things.

Dream Big, Aim High and Pray Often

I want to be cured of Cancer... completely and totally cured.  I don't want to just make it day by day from chemo to chemo, I want to be healed and cured of this disease.

• I pray my family and friends will be in good health, safe and blessed with a good life
• The friends I have met at the hospital and support group will also be comforted, without pain and healed
• I pray that God will continue to be with my children, nieces and nephews and guide them
• My grand kids will be protected safe from harm and loved all their life
• I pray that I will be the loving daughter, wife, mother, sister, aunt and friend and
• I choose to be a blessing, so that whatever I aim for, whatever I do has a purpose or a blessing to others

With that said, I am giving this to God because its only through Him this is possible. AMEN

Its like sitting there watching the snow melt

I had a CT scan last week and Monday I get the results.  It really is like sitting there watching the snow melt and wondering if spring will really come.  I'm always hoping for a miracle that the spots on my liver will permanently disappear signaling at least a chance at remission.

My new chemo "cocktail" seems interesting.  I had hoped to have the feeling in my hands return a lot quicker.  They seem number than before.  I dealt with the nausea like a wimp.  There are some meds I can take to ease the nausea but only at the cost of relinquishing my independence as I would not want to drive. Joe would have to chauffeur me around as some of them make me tired or feel out of whack.

On the flip side of life.  My family and friends continue to be my support and each day offer encouragement to keep going - "don't give up".  I heard that 3 times in one week from different folks... "don't give up, keep fighting".  Each day AFTER chemo, I get a little bit stronger (and less whiny) and I think I can do this.