little to say but so many things to do

I took time off to "smell the roses" so to speak.  Joe came with me on a business trip and we extended our stay for some relaxing time off from the real world. 

We went to Pikes Market, watched movies in the room, had a few quick dips in the Jacuzzi and ate plenty of great meals.  To top it off I bought some new pants from Sears of all places.  I think I gained 4 pounds on that trip... which is amazing.  I haven't been able to gain weight in so long it's weird.  The warmer weather was nice but my toes remained cold the entire time.  Jacuzzi and plenty of hot baths were the magic trick for a quick warm up.

My new chemo "cocktail" seems to be doing OK.  I'm hoping to regain sensitivity in my hands sometime soon.  My back muscles are not hurting as they once were, which is amazing nice. My brain is a little on the foggy side,  I'm forgetful at times.... and that comes and goes.  This has been a good week as far as chemo goes..

The bucket list

I've come to realize that having a bucket list is one of those things in life we all have stashed somewhere in the corner of our brain.  Its only until we are faced with our own mortality do we drag it out and see what is inside of it. 

This brings to my memory a song frequently played on KOTZ Radio 720 am on your radio dial..... "There is a hole in this here bucket dear Liza, dear Liza...."  Not only does the song make me laugh but in reality my bucket list has a hole in it too and I am OK with that.  I just hope it's the things I check off that fall out...

My bucket list is small and subject to modifications perhaps on a daily or periodic basis.  This is what I have so far... and I am open to suggestions.

Bucket List

1. Dye my hair blue (check)
2. Snazzy Mohawk (depending on chemo - this may someday be checked off)
3. Gotta have a grand baby (check, check)
4. Wanna see one of my kids get married (the date is set, the love birds are set to tie the knot in NOV & DEC)
5. Clean out my mom's sewing room (wouldn't that freak her out)
6. Vacation with my kids someplace warm.... (set for NOV)
7. Make a white skin parkie with my niece Brianna
8. See my grandson walk and my Bailey Bug dance
9. Ladies night out on the town
10. Go camping with my husband down in the Kenai area
11. Go to a country music concert
12. I'd like to see Helvi buy a bright trendy purse and matching shoes and wear them (check)
13. I want a lady bug tattoo with a forget-me-not flower on my ankle (fake tattoo's are OK too) (I changed my mind)

Hot tea with a cookie

There have been times when a good cup of coffee and an Oreo would set the day on the right track.  These days I have lost the desire for coffee but thank God cookies are a wonderful treat any day of the week.

I think it's the little things like this that help me appreciate where I am at in life.  Yesterday I had to stop to count my blessings.  My reward for doing so was a gratefulness so profound there was nothing, not even cancer that could shake my sense of peace.  Its ok that I have cancer, its ok that its the worst and toughest battle I've faced, its ok because I am supported by the love and kindness of family and friends everywhere.  But don't get me wrong, CANCER SUCKS... but so does dropping your ice cream cone on the floor, it sucks but it doesn't have to ruin your day.